The Emmys.

The Emmys are television's self-congratulatory pat-on-the-back, the night of tooting its own horn of inflated, imagined importance. You didn't have to be a pop culture savant to predict the way things would turn out for the evening, although a few curveballs were thrown, here and there, on TV's biggest night.

As demonstrated by the announcement of nominees this past summer, the Emmys were all for revamping themselves and celebrating previously neglected subjects, such as "Saturday Night Live" and "Family Guy."

The show, airing on CBS (who watches CBS anymore? Really!) at 8 p.m. EST, was led by none other than song-and-dance man Neil Patrick Harris, who doubles as lady-killer Barney on "How I Met Your Mother." He opened with a song penned by the team behind the musical version of "Hairspray," "Don't Touch That Remote." There was no better way for NPH to start-he excelled from that first second, throwing his all into the production like he really was on the Broadway stage.

Looking like a million bucks in his white James Bond-like tuxedo, he kept the show moving in a fluid and good-humored nature. Considering how endlessly boring it got after the first half, this was a necessity on his part. A strong captain to navigate through the toils of countless "I WOULD LIKE TO THANK MY PARENTS FOR BELIEVING IN ME" speeches that drug on just a hare too long, I thank Harris from the bottom of my exasperated heart.

Now, anyone that's seen at least one awards show on television is familiar with the sacred art of the montage, but it seemed that the Emmys overused them this year. Everything from "Desperate Housewives" to "American Idol" got its two-second cuts. Every aspect of the show was coupled with a montage of some sort, basically.

Starting off, "30 Rock" and "Mad Men" had the most nominations in their respective categories. Both of these shows have enjoyed a lot of critical acclaim but most people (and I would assume, the majority of Edinboro students) do not watch them.

To make up for this, "Family Guy" was nominated.

By the end of the night, AMC's series about the complicated world inside one advertising firm in the 1960s "Mad Men" would have taken home only two awards. "24," "Law and Order: SVU" and "Lost" also took home statues (of what? I can't figure out what that "Emmy" statue is supposed to be).

A lot of actors, including that "The Mentalist" Simon Baker and "Guest Actor in a Comedy Series" winner Justin Timberlake, sported Tina Fey-esque glasses all night. Fey herself sported a face bare of her trademark frames.

Sarah Silverman, in other fashion news, wore a mustache Hitler would be proud of. I wouldn't expect anything less of the Big S.

Fey's creation "30 Rock" won best actor in a comedy series for Alec Baldwin, writing and best comedy. It didn't have the sweep people predicted, but it did well enough. And Fey? Although she (shockingly) lost to Toni Collette (of Diablo Cody's "The United States of Tara"), she ended up a winner for her memorable turn as Sarah Palin on "SNL."

Some might argue that 2009's Emmys were the best ever. There is some truth to this; it was of a considerably higher quality than past incarnations. Still, anything after the last half tended to drag. It was admirable that the show's producers chose to put aside so much time into celebrating the year's miniseries and TV movies. But, seriously people. Seriously. Can you name five people off the top of your head that watched "Prayers for Bobby?"

HBO was top boss with a total of (count them!) 21 wins. And this is without the help of Tony Soprano or Carrie Bradshaw.

There's a local connection to report from the frontlines of the Emmys. For "Outstanding Director of a Comedy Series," Todd Holland, a native of nearby Meadville, was up for the "Generallismo" of "30 Rock." He lost to Jeff Blitz, who directed an episode of the other monster NBC hit, "The Office."

Overall, the Emmys weren't as vapid or as tedious as they can be. We all know how awards drag. Blah blah blah, win win win, lose lose lose. Someone's tearing apart someone on the Red Carpet for wearing a dress that could easily double as a grocery store bag.

For my inner Joan Rivers, I'm going with "Medium"'s Patricia Arquette. What. Was. That.

And no interruptions from Kanye West in the middle of a "Grey Gardens" win. I think the 61st annual Emmys were a success.

My rating? Well, if we go that game, this gets 4 and a half Amy Poehlers, which could also double as 4 Amy Poehlers and one teary (but rightfully deserving) Kristin Chenoweth.

Chenoweth, who won for her work on the dearly departed "Pushing Daisies," had perhaps the sweetest and most humbling moment of the evening. She accepted her award from Tina Fey and "Mad Men's" Jon Hamm.

"I'm unemployed now, so I'd like to be on 'Mad Men.' I also like 'The Office' and '24.' I'm shocked. I can't believe it," she said. After her win, though, paramedics had to treat the pint-sized multitalented actress for a crippling migraine.

Jon Cryer lived up to his name for his win in "Two and a Half Men," also showing his emotional side.

"Ghost Whisperer," perhaps the most deserving show on network TV, did not receive any awards. Jennifer Love Hewitt was unavailable for comment when we approached.

SOME TIME IN 2009